Crazy Talk

Tomorrow morning, before bright and early even happens, a large group of ChappellRoberts’ finest and fittest will gather back here in Ybor City to support one of our great clients, the Lions Eye Institute, in their annual Race for Sight.  I don’t wanna brag, but I will anyway: last year, not one but two of our folks placed top two in their categories.

Regardless of whether you are in tip-top condition or Richard Simmons was all the rage the last time you hit the gym, one thing every cardio-goer has in common is the insane conversation you have with yourself (that would likely get you put in an insane asylum if it played out in real life) while working out. Lucky for you, it’s your own private little chat and, as highlighted in today’s well- timed post on BuzzFeed, “75 Thoughts Every Runner Has While Out For A Run,” you’re not alone.  Below are a few of my favorites. The actual dialogue may be different from person to person, but my guess would be that whatever flows through your brain will likely fall into one of these categories.

Self-motivation
– What a beautiful day for a jog!
– Heck yes. Three miles down, two to go. It’s all downhill from here.

Anger
– Man, what are these people doing in front of me? Walking?! Is this a contest to see who’s the worst at walking? Because you are both champions in my heart.
– Why do I even run? Why does anyone even run?

Panic
– How long have I been running? A year? SIX MINUTES?!
– Hi hi hi please don’t hit me with your car.

Self-consciousness
– Is that what I look like when I run? What am I, a newborn deer with a drinking problem?
– A fellow jogger! Should I wave?
– I’m trying to smile at you but it probably looks like I’m having a stroke.

Delusion
– I can barely remember what my life was like before I started this run.
– OMG, I hope I never find a dead body. Joggers always find dead bodies.

Reward
– What am I going to eat when I get home?
– I’m running five miles, so I should probably eat five slices of pizza.

Pride
– Wait, less than one mile to go? I am KILLING this run.
– I AM THE SWIFTEST GOD OF ALL TWO-LEGGED CREATURES.

Run Forrest Run

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